We all love having a great time with our friends downtown! All this fun can suddenly be ruined when you get the “urge” and have nowhere to “go”. Don’t let your night be ruined and inform yourself on the best places to take a sh*t when you’re downtown.
Jimmy Johns
Sh*t!
A single person restroom with working lights and a mirror! Need I say more? You get the privacy you need to do your business in peace. However, when doing my research for this review, the bathroom was out of TP on both occasions that I visited. If you want to do your business here, make sure you check for TP before it is too late…
Alto’s NY Pizza
Sh*t
If you need to go, go early before they close! They have a clean, single person, unisex restroom. Privacy, quiet, and peace. There is also a whole lot of white noise from their pizza ovens if you need that sort of thing. Not to mention that tile design is pretty cool to look at in case you forget your phone when you go. Never out of TP and the employees there take pride in keeping their bathroom clean
“No one wants to do it but whoever ends up doing it, ends up doing a damn good job” -alto’s employee
The Library
Don’t Sh*t!
The library has a relatively nice restroom. No mirror in the men’s restroom but the women’s restroom has a nice big mirror for the ladies. Plenty of urinals in the men’s restroom but only one stall and the door doesn’t lock! And It’s a handicap accessible stall so no human arm-span can reach the door to keep it closed. The women’s restroom boasts a healthy 3 stalls but only 2 of them have working doors. Overall clean restroom but definitely don’t sh*t here.
Sister
Don’t sh*t
Sister is arguably the most popular bar downtown with their huge selection of beer, yummy food, and hip-ass bartenders but their bathroom is definitely not a sh*tter. The doors for the stalls don’t lock and it rarely looks clean enough to want to spend more than the duration of a 30-second piss in there. It’s one of those bathrooms where you don’t want to breathe through your nose because the smell is bad but you also don’t want to breathe through your mouth for fear of tasting it. Hold your breath and pray is the best you can do. Have a beer and a burrito here but take your #2 business somewhere else.
Anodyne
Don’t sh*t
Sadly, you can’t just “go upstairs” to use the restroom while at sister because anodyne’s bathroom is not much better. The floors don’t even look level in this restroom and it is very tiny. They tried to fit a stall in there but the stall is so small that your knees would knock on the door if you tried to do your business in there. No privacy either due to the tiny size. Not a sh*tter
Distillery
Don’t sh*t
If you can even find the restroom in this place, use it only for #1. The stall doesn’t even have a door here.
Duel Brewing Company.
Sh*t!
This is a winner. Pristine restrooms with plenty of stalls. All the doors lock and the TP is always stocked. It is removed enough from the common area that you even feel like you’re on retreat. Nicely decorated and almost odorless. If you ever need to sh*t downtown, sh*t here. Buy a beer when you’re done and leave the bartender a hefty tip with a wordy “thank you” note. They earned it.
Launchpad
Don’t Sh*t
No stall at all in the men’s restroom. They have a urinal next to a conventional toilet with no barrier of separation whatsoever. The women’s restroom is nicer; however, it is small with no privacy considering the stall door doesn’t open all the way because the sink is in the way. Tends to be on the dirty side on the weekends but catch a show during the week and you might get lucky, ladies. Great music but not a sh*tter
Fortunately, we have a few great places to go #2 when you’re out having a good time with your pals downtown. Don’t let your bowels keep you from visiting downtown!